We have explored how having children could be a really good thing for a marriage. But, as we all know, there are always advantages and disadvantages to all things. So, let us see how children can negatively impact your marriage and how you can work on these challenges.

Stress: A new baby equals stress. It could be financial stress, emotional stress, physical stress, etc. The point is, you as a parent now have a very huge responsibility. You have a life in your hand that you have to nurture and care for. This could be a bit overwhelming

What to do: If you are feeling stressed out about the responsibility, it is important that you open up with your partner. Chances are, they are probably worried too, so you won’t have to feel guilty or alone. Encourage each other and remind each other that they are doing the very best they can.

Jealousy: Some couples report that they feel a little jealous of their partner’s attachment to the child.  No parent wants to feel left out. And sometimes, as parents, especially mothers, we are so focused on taking care of the child that we forget our partners need time too. Another issue is when a parent feels like his/her partner does not consider them a priority anymore because they now have kids

What to do: Let each partner have time with the child, even if it is just to hold them for a little while. Remember to reaffirm your love for your partner too.

Differences in opinions: There are issues you will face as parents which you have never faced before. You could have different ideas on how the kids should be raised. Your partner may want to do something with the child that you do not agree with. This is normal because you are both two members of the same team and you might butt head from time to time.

What to do: Keep an open mind. If your partner is doing something that you might not think is best, try to see it from their perspective. If you are still butting heads, then find a middle ground where you both will be comfortable.

Intimacy issues: It takes some women a while to get into the mood after having a baby. This does not mean they love their husbands any less. Having a baby is pretty intense and pregnancy/birth can take its toll on a woman’s body.

What to do: As a mother, you should understand that you need to take all the time you need. If you are being pressured, do not give into it as engaging in intimacy before you are ready will only evoke negative feelings on your end. And as you know, your relationship is quite fragile at this stage and the last thing you want is to add bitterness into things. Make him understand that you need more time and that this does not mean you love him any less. Bond in other ways like hugging, holding hands and making him feel loved.

Exhaustion: Taking care of a baby can be exhausting. And this can lead to other complications in the marriage. Lack of sleep or exhaustion can cause partners to be short with each other.

What to do: There is not much you can do about sleep during the early days. But if you take turns and assist each other, you will come out on the other side even stronger and closer as a couple. Women often believe they can do it all, which leads them not to ask for help. And men are unlikely to help if they do not know that they are needed.  So, ladies, speak up if you need help, your partner could be happy about having to spend more time with your child.

Less social time: If you are the couple that used to have a very active social life pre-baby, it might be a difficult readjustment after having a child.

What to do. Being prepared can help. Have as much social life as you can before the baby comes. And even though opportunities are rare, try to do the same when you can after the baby comes.

Remember, it is important to always make time for your partner after you have children. A child will thrive and grow if he is surrounded by parents who love each other.